Yes, you heard me! I did not say a 'stay at home' wife or mom or a 'homemaker'. As long as you play the part of a wife and/or mother you are going to be a 'home maker' whether or not you have a 'job'. So, why this need to sugarcoat and make it technically correct? Why is it so offensive if someone refers to a woman as 'just a housewife'? The answer is right there! To me the word 'just' is offensive and not 'housewife'.
This blog is not about women and unemployment. And I am definitely not saying nor suggesting that once a woman is married she should stick to the four corners of the house. A thundering NO! This is about one's decision to stick to a particular job role unabashedly and unapologetically! In fact, if the man and woman know what they are doing I dont see why a man cannot bake the bread while the woman earns the dough!
Why should you squirm and feel inferior just because your priorities are different? I think true freedom is when you can actually do what you want. Is it not what we ultimately aspire for? Hats off to the women who bring home the bacon and help the kids with their projects too! But being on a payroll should not be the sole yardstick for someone's worth and dependency. A woman may not have a fixed monthly income but that does not mean she is without work. Her path is not an 'easy way out'.
Speaking of women who are a part of the daily grind called 'employment', are they having (not to forget earning) their cake and eating it too? If you think they are guilt-free, you are way off! For many of them it means now there two places with no appreciation!
Being a wife and/or a mom is a full time job in itself and often a thankless one at that!
If 'homemakers' feel inadequate with their choice, 'career women' carry the iniquity of guilt. Guilt of 'not being there', of 'missing out' and what not. And if there are exceptions to these rules, some women who are actually comfortable if not content with their choice, the otherwise unhelpful relatives and peers are right there to remind them of the same!
Often, women work long hours both inside and outside the house. They neglect themselves completely, lose their health, interests and even identities, all in the quest of the elusive approval. Bending over backwards to appease someone is a norm among women across cultures and yet it is rarely requited with recognition, forget about the much deserved appreciation! Whatever they do they are expected to do some more. This pursuit of pleasing is endless.
We all have one life where our actions count so let us just live! To every woman (and man too) I just want to say, go out and do everything that gives meaning to your life. Family is a sanctuary of love, solace and comfort. Don't make it an impediment, it never is! Do your part and help others do theirs. Give yourself a break! After all, you are doing a 'job' with so many risks, hazards and demands. You are worthy of commendation and certainly not shame.
Urooj Fathima
- A relocated, fat, grownup, proud housewife ;)
This blog is not about women and unemployment. And I am definitely not saying nor suggesting that once a woman is married she should stick to the four corners of the house. A thundering NO! This is about one's decision to stick to a particular job role unabashedly and unapologetically! In fact, if the man and woman know what they are doing I dont see why a man cannot bake the bread while the woman earns the dough!
Why should you squirm and feel inferior just because your priorities are different? I think true freedom is when you can actually do what you want. Is it not what we ultimately aspire for? Hats off to the women who bring home the bacon and help the kids with their projects too! But being on a payroll should not be the sole yardstick for someone's worth and dependency. A woman may not have a fixed monthly income but that does not mean she is without work. Her path is not an 'easy way out'.
Speaking of women who are a part of the daily grind called 'employment', are they having (not to forget earning) their cake and eating it too? If you think they are guilt-free, you are way off! For many of them it means now there two places with no appreciation!
Being a wife and/or a mom is a full time job in itself and often a thankless one at that!
If 'homemakers' feel inadequate with their choice, 'career women' carry the iniquity of guilt. Guilt of 'not being there', of 'missing out' and what not. And if there are exceptions to these rules, some women who are actually comfortable if not content with their choice, the otherwise unhelpful relatives and peers are right there to remind them of the same!
Often, women work long hours both inside and outside the house. They neglect themselves completely, lose their health, interests and even identities, all in the quest of the elusive approval. Bending over backwards to appease someone is a norm among women across cultures and yet it is rarely requited with recognition, forget about the much deserved appreciation! Whatever they do they are expected to do some more. This pursuit of pleasing is endless.
We all have one life where our actions count so let us just live! To every woman (and man too) I just want to say, go out and do everything that gives meaning to your life. Family is a sanctuary of love, solace and comfort. Don't make it an impediment, it never is! Do your part and help others do theirs. Give yourself a break! After all, you are doing a 'job' with so many risks, hazards and demands. You are worthy of commendation and certainly not shame.
Urooj Fathima
- A relocated, fat, grownup, proud housewife ;)
A very refreshing take on one of the critical roles in society. I also find it surprising when people form stereotypes and force it down others' throats. I could be wrong, but I feel it arises out of their own empty lives.
ReplyDeleteIf women who actually want to be housewives become housewives, it would go a long way to form a more peaceful family. A lot of women are forced - forced in many ways - society, upbringing, religion, culture etc - to do either thing (earn or stay at home). Either of these decisions are not wrong, if its taken with one's own freedom.
An astute observation! Totally agree with you :)
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